You shouldn't have to explain non-monogamy to the person you're paying to help.
I'm James Buckley, a certified sexologist and sex & relationship coach. Open relationships and polyamory aren't a side interest in my practice — they're the whole practice.
What we work on
Opening up
Going from monogamous to something else is rarely one conversation. We slow it down, work out what you each actually want, and build agreements you can live with.
Jealousy and insecurity
Jealousy isn't a character flaw or a sign non-monogamy is wrong for you. We look at what it's pointing to, and what you need to feel steady while your partner is out.
Agreements and communication
Rules, boundaries and agreements are three different things — and mixing them up is where most of the friction starts. We map out the difference, and build the ones that are right for you.
When one partner wants more openness
One of you is ready, one of you isn't. This is the most common thing that lands in my inbox, and it doesn't have to end with one of you losing.
Sex and desire
Mismatched libidos, sex that's gone quiet, wanting something you've never asked for out loud. As a sexologist this is ordinary territory, and there's nothing you need to soften before you say it.
Polycules and groups
More than two people, more than two sets of needs. We work with the whole structure — who's connected to whom, and where the pressure actually sits.
"James holds a truly safe, inclusive and supportive space for couples and individuals to explore, understand and navigate ethical non-monogamy with confidence and compassion. James is an exceptional sexologist."
Ali S Google Review
What working together looks like
A free 15-minute intro call
We talk about what's going on and whether I'm the right fit. No preparation needed, and no obligation to book anything afterwards.
Your first session
We map the whole picture — the relationships, the sticking point, what you want to be true in six months. You'll leave with something to work with, not just a diagnosis.
Ongoing coaching
Most people work with me for a stretch rather than a one-off, and some come back now and then for a check-in as things change. We meet at the pace that suits you, and stop when you've got what you came for.
"James is a great active listener, curious without making assumptions and authentic in how he conducts himself both professionally and personally. I would highly recommend him."
Oliver M Google Review
Questions people ask before booking
Are you a therapist?
No — I'm a certified sexologist and coach, and that shapes the work in a useful way. Coaching is practical and forward-looking: what you want, what you're negotiating, what happens next. Therapy often does deeper work on what came before, and it's genuinely valuable — a number of my clients see a therapist alongside me, and the two fit together well. If something comes up that's better served by clinical care, I'll tell you, and help you find the right person for it.
What does it cost?
Individual sessions are $175 USD (55 minutes). Couples are $225 USD — 75 minutes for a first session, 60 minutes for ongoing work. Polycules and groups are quoted by enquiry, since the shape varies. The intro call is free and always will be.
How do US session times work?
Everything is online, and my schedule is built around US evenings and weekends — so sessions fit after work rather than in the middle of it. I already help people in places like Seattle, the Bay Area and Portland. You'll see real available times when you book.
We haven't decided whether to open up yet. Is it too early?
That's often the best time to talk. Plenty of people arrive undecided, and some conclude that non-monogamy isn't for them — that's a good outcome, reached deliberately rather than by accident. You also don't need a problem to book. A lot of this work is maintenance: a check-up while things are going well, a tune-up on agreements that have quietly drifted, or a look at what you want next. That applies whether you're single, dating, partnered or somewhere in between. You don't need a plan, or a crisis, before you get in touch.
Is this confidential?
Yes. Sessions are private, I don't discuss clients with anyone, and nothing you say goes further without your say-so. As a coach I keep minimal notes and there's no medical record involved. Sessions run over a secure video link.
Start with a conversation, not a commitment.
Fifteen minutes, free, and entirely up to you what happens next — whether you're mid-crisis, mid-negotiation, or just want a check-in.
Sex and Relationship Coaching is not psychotherapy. I am not a physician, psychiatrist, psychologist, licensed social worker or licensed marriage and family therapist, and I do not offer therapy, psychotherapy or medical advice.
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